Glorified Traffic Cop

What would you say you do here?

This classic scene from the 1999 movie Office Space sums it up quite well. Two consultants ask an employee what it is he does at the company, and it comes down to “bringing the specs from the customer to the software engineers.” Although, he doesn’t even physically do so – his secretary brings them over, or they’re faxed. Rightfully so, the consultants are questioning why his job exists. Enter: My job as a Program Manager at Microsoft. I can’t tell you the number of times I felt like I should’ve been the one facing those consultants, struggling to explain why my role even exists.

What does a Program Manager do?

At Microsoft, being a “Program Manager” can mean many things. That said, it basically comes down to being a project manager that isn’t actually in charge of the project. PMs “coordinate cross-functional teams”, “manage stakeholders”, “drive compliance”, and “build processes”, among other things. You might wonder what all of that means, but it essentially translates to having a lot of meetings, sending a bunch of emails, and writing documents that no one really reads.

Some people have the ability to find meaning in the most meaningless of tasks, which is a key characteristic needed for long term success in big tech. Countless times I found myself having to “clean up the backlog” and work on the “work item hygiene”, only for it to never get looked at again. Process for the purpose of process. This is especially exacerbated at Microsoft, one of the only companies that hires PMs straight out of college. To keep us low-level PMs busy, tasks and projects are invented and justified in exceedingly creative ways.

I did try pushing back

The funny thing is – I wasn’t quiet about my viewpoints at work. I used to tell people all the time: “If there’s one thing I don’t want to do, it’s being a glorified traffic cop”. “I really want to make sure this process serves an actual purpose, otherwise I don’t think we should do it.” “I don’t think we need this many people involved in this”. “This meeting could have been an email.” AND PEOPLE WOULD AGREE! They would all say “Totally! 100%! Fully agree with you!”. And yet, five seconds later, it’s as if that exchange never happened. You might only believe it once you see it for yourself, but this is actually what my job was like.

To be clear, I do understand that there’s a need for PMs at big tech companies. They set strategy, put teams on the right path, and yes, they deal with the customers. That said, I’ve come to the conclusion that (at least at Microsoft) we simply have way too many of them. When PMs are only talking to other PMs, and there’s PMs that don’t even have an association with an engineering team, something has gone astray. It’s as if people have forgotten that engineers can also talk directly to one another.

Just writing about this confronts me with the pointlessness of my role in the company, which is sad – but at the same time, it confirms my decision to leave was the right one. May my next adventure, at the very least, feel like it serves a purpose!

PS: My experience is certainly not universal, but based on anecdotal evidence, I know that it is not uncommon either. All to say - please do take my words with a grain of salt. I’m a disgruntled ex-tech worker, after all.